Dissapointments. People having high hopes on you. Yet you didn't get it.
I hate this feeling. I hate to dissapoint people and myself.
Sad, but i will get over it soon.
I cried, they must have thought i was a sore loser.
Well try being in my position. The surge of dissapointment, i think only nicole can understand.
People tell you they voted for you, people tell you you will be in, people tell you they will not be in....
sux. Don't tell me i will win.
I guess it's just complacency, i have to taste dissapointment once in a while.
Sorry i didn't hide my dissapointment well enough, i'm not the kind of person who fakes. So yea, sorry if you think i buaysong you but nah im not.
~
Ms faith was announcing, my name wasn't there for the four positions.
CL. Crazy, the highest rank.
but i still held a teeny weeny hope for myself.
No, it wasn't me.
My heart sank, i looked at Nicole, we could both feel tears in our eyes.
It's not the sore-loser kind of tears. It's tears of dissapointment in ourselves i guess.
Someone told us, it's our attire and behaviour.
Damn multiple earholes. Whatever.
I didn't talk, i forced a smile. It was hard, duh human nature. To expect something but you don't get it.
Then ms xiang asked me over. She told me things that made me feel more assured.
But also, i feel even more dissapointed in myself.
Later there was this leadership briefing.
Chunni, azalea and I. CL, ACL, PL(?).
Okay i make it sound like im so pathetic and am unhappy with the excos HAHA LOL (Im not lah hor), but whateverrrr inferior i guess.
Azalea told me she was sad im not in. Ha i appreciate that you think i can :D Cheerz for your ACL position.
Chunni doesn't seem happy. I can see so. Hmz whatever reason, im still proud of you okay (: I was expecting you or azalea to be, so hmm my prediction not bad uh!
Went to the briefing. Alex was nice, he was like, "WAH YOU LEADER AH?!" or something like that. Nice one alex (: *slaps*
Mdm roz kept saying "You people are the top 3 ranks in your cca... Your teachers chose you for a reason..."
Gahzx make me more guilty to be there only.
S:
Wait... is that a show of inferiorism/jealousy again? HAA i swear im not lah k.
Ms faith asked me stay back. She asked me, "Are you dissapointed you are not in exco?"
And i started to tear. I guess those were the tears that i fought back all these while.
I told her everything. I was honest.
I was dissapointed with not being in exco, duh. Since everyone had high hopes on me.
Every human will feel this way too.
Im glad she told me she sees potential in the whole sec 3s, she said she has hopes in me.
Well i guess im pretty honest here yea?
Bet many think im jealous or buaysong or what shit you can think about.
LOL but whateverrrr Im happy with the exco :D
Most of them were what i thought, maybe just 2 was off my list?
Haha but nevermind. I know we sec 3s are the best.
Sure, PNA GOLD IS OURS THIS YEAR LAH HOR XD
Well wellz i have faith in you all excos. HEHE like how chunni said about me for my speech "I have faith in her, please have faith in her too."
SHWEET i remember iris texted me before, something about having faith in people.
LOL yes yes having faith in people is impt. Drives people on.
Anyhow, i shall accept fact that im PL and do my job well :)
Cheerz all.