found some peektures that i thought, were moments that i enjoyed myself the most btu never really cherished them
I didn't know they would change. I thought good things around me would never change.
I thought bad things only happen to those who think negatively. Positive people like me will have a good life all the way.
I tell people in the past, it's how you think, you think happy, you be happy.
Whateverrrrr so naive.
Not saying life is treating me really cruelly right now... at least my dad's recovering and surving and fighting great, mum's not scolding and going crazy and tired, people who i can at least call friends are still around me, my schoolwork tho screwed but still can make it, i have got a flat to live in, i have got food and clothes.....
Well seems like im a fortunate girl huh?
It's different.
It may not be what you think.
An ordinary girl will compare.
I compare myself with other people who have good results but don't have to study much, I compare myself with people are slimmer and prettier than me, I compare myself with people who have a happy family, I compare myself with those who are richer than me...
Idk. Comparison makes a fool out of you and me only.
And a moment ago i was thinking about friends.
Friends. I've got a lot.
Clique. I've got a few.
True friends. I've got none.
"True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends. "
Pathetic huh? Fancy me living on earth for 15 years and i don't fucking have a true friend.
Someone who i feel extremely comfortable with: NONE.
I feel that people are just taking use of me. It's gettin' irritating.
Ask me do all the shit, then call me a friend.
Fuxk you lah seriously. I'm not for you to play.
Talked to allyson and xinying... they're nice to hear me vent my troubles.
Sorry, im not very used to telling and pouring out my troubles to people 'cuz i don't think people are that free to listen to me.
Im glad they did.
I don't know who to trust anymore.
I suddenly want to know who regard me as a true friend.
Thx if you are. At least, i know you are treating me truthfully without motive.
Who are good? Who are bad?
It's like everyone's getting closer to you because of a motive. It's getting irritating and im phobia of it.
I don't know who to believe anymore. I wanna migrate to somewhere else so i can live life again. I will bring those who treat me well together with me :)
It feels terrible to be clueless about who are yr real friends.
Nevertheless, i pray tomorrow will be a good day for all of us.
Surprises, i luv surprises.
On a lighter note,
had NDP training today we marched a fxcking 2 KM. Omg and the stupid sun.
I was so afraid to get sunburnt as i was standing... UGH.
We got back our report book yesterday.
My results were a total disgrace. Fancy me dropping about more than 40 positions?
I'm 11th in class from the back.
I promised my mum to study for my dad and to prove my mum wrong.
And I WILL. I can't stand it when my mum demoralise me all the time.
I realised it was GSS when i saw bishan's m)phosis having sales.
OMG SO EGGCITED.
I want I want I want! Go JP tomorrow maybe? :)
*wink wink
It's so weird.. that family's not fighting today. Great.
Ogayyyyy bye and BOF rox my sox.